ĵǿŋ.čΦм

This is the door to the lodge. Write it in your diary.

This movie makes "earth girls are easy" look like flippin "citizen kane."

and to the director, frank oz...don't quit your day job as a muppeteer playing miss piggy and yoda.

"bloody your hand on a cactus tree, wipe it on your dress and send it to me..."

today. a fun day. my two most valuable possessions (ie mon voiture et mon computer) have both malfunctioned.

i need positive vibes sent to me.

also, i am planning to turn the desert into the sea, and the sea into the desert.

in the wake of the day of jessicas.

after visiting beatrice, concerning flat #1, came the day of the jessicas. the day where the only people the protagonist spoke with go by the name of jessica.

the jessicas: #1. concerned with problems with her computer, #2. concerned with her comic appeal, #3 concerned with letting her flat.

the protagonist: in search of a capable mechanic, in search of funding, a cheaper flat, and looking for frank.

in the end of the scene they realize that jessica #2's mother is named beatrice, as beatrice #1 makes her way to the phillipines.

The plot thickens.

cut.

Voici un hero d'amour et bliss. Maximillion, le chien superior. Merci, mon dieu--Maximillion est le chef de moi.

After making my star sighting for the evening--seeing makeup covered Monster Charlize Theron, and stumbling away from the low key "Peter Sellers" party, I made my way towards the SIC party at the Kodak pavilion. While my good friend and French government agent Cyprien was waiting inside for me--outside I broke up a fight, rescued a kitten from a fire, and then saw my friend William who had an extra invite for me to the soiree. I was immasculated, yet, excited. But then, he began to speak of the decadence within.

"I was inside that fucking room for an hour, Jon. There is nothing but wretched whores dancing to devil music inside. Beware...Beware..."

I hardly believed this cockeyed scenario, and I figured that it was likely just the amphetamines talking. I made my way in cautiously, and was struck to find that the bars had almost run dry. There was in fact no tequila for me, goddamnit. And the swarthing orgy would surely die out within minutes of running dry. I was about ready to throw in the proverbial towel when in an instance I was pushed back towards the patio and greeted by a fanciful pack of male and female suitors, grabbing lustfully in my direction, hoping to at least come away with a scrap of clothing as a memoire. This was what I was expecting. So when everyone piled on top of me and started licking away, I grabbed the first person I saw and started licking back--this was my mechanism to show the untamed herd that I was not defenseless. The girl I grabbed, happened to be none other than Michelle--the instant pictured above was captured by Cyprien as evidence of my decadent behavior. I proclaimed "Ha Ha, Charade you are!" and despite the lack of liquor, as per my orders, everyone danced and had a bitchin' night...and lived happily ever after. the end.

My (soon to be famous) friend Dorothy is pictured here attending the world premiere of Van Helsing. My guess is that everyone should have just looked at her for two hours instead of going in to the screening. Fabulous, darling.

Upon further examination, we see that Dorothy has a twin. N'est-ce pas?

I watched Alphaville last night, for the first time in 2 or 3 years. It was incredible. Godard again adheres to his theory that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. With total disregard for dated items (relics) within this futuristic tale, Godard transforms (what was) contemporary Paris into another world (with the help of some dialogues to explain the anachronisms).

What wins out over the computer in the end?? Not big guns, lasers, armies--but poetry. The human spirit. I have decided that I will name my next computer "Alpha Soixante" in honor of this landmark piece of cinema.